Hi guys, long time no speak.

Today I want to share something that’s been on my mind lately.

No BS, only truth.

Right, so I am a very spiritual person, no doubt – my parents told me stories of when I was 3-4 years old, how I tried to solve problems in my life with love and compassion. When my cousin hit me, I told him “Don’t do it, okay, we are a family”, or when a girl at my kindergarten group bullied me, instead of following my dad’s advice to punch her back, I decided to calmly talk to her and asked her, “Why are you bullying me? Have I done something wrong? If so, I’m sorry”. It worked.

While I’m learning about this world almost solely through self-analysis, introspection, I can get carried away at times. For a long time I’ve been dreaming about becoming a business person. Moving to another country. Finding a deep emotional connection in my personal relationships.

The problem with all of the above is that it’s all in my head. Of course, there are things that our heart / soul / spirit / higher self (whatever you want to call it) communicate to us through discomfort that we might feel from certain situations in our lives, through urges to go and pursue something, sometimes even through dreams or real-life challenges. What I struggle with the most is action.

Consistent action – this is a core ingredient in your life. You cannot achieve anything just by dreaming it into reality, manifesting, talking to your friends about it. You cannot achieve anything just by sitting around waiting for it, hoping you will one day have the guts / motivation / energy or whatever else you’re missing right now to do it. Nobody will come to rescue you, most likely, if you just keep on waiting. Nothing will change much, as long as you are simply waiting.

No matter how spiritual or down-to-earth you are, dear reader, what I’ve realised and what might help you, too – because we all want a better life for ourselves, one that can make us happier – is that everyone, without any exceptions, need to develop discipline to move both your hands and legs towards your wish. Nothing else will work as effectively as ACTION. And in order to act, you must master one key area in the world of self-love: discipline.

I am sick of such buzzwords as “motivation”, “law of attraction”, “inspiration” – chances are, we will never have it. Imagine! NEVER. Why? It’s simply because they don’t exist until and unless you decide to act, and you take action. Consistently. Motivation doesn’t come from watching numerous videos of Tony Robbins and Jay Shetty. Law of attraction is forever going to stay a vague concept if you’re not out there in the world doing something. Inspiration may enter your life as a result of strong feelings, such as being in love, but they will fade away, leaving you with no dopamine, adrenaline, phenylethylamine and no inspiration.

Act now, and forget about energy, motivation and inspiration. They are illusory and impractical.

Good news is, you don’t have to bust your a$$. Taking consistent action doesn’t mean you need to work 24/7 on your dreams. I often hear busy mothers, full-time employees and just pretty much anyone with any number of responsibilities, no matter how big or small, complain about not having the time / energy / will to do anything that, in the long term, will make them fulfilled. I don’t judge nevertheless – I am not a mom, not an employee, and even I manage to come up with many reasons why I can’t do anything today, which translates into “ever”.

I digress – you do not need a lot of time to take consistent action. All you need is consistency. Once a month? Once a week? Whatever works for you but you have to do it, as if it’s as inevitable as wiping after toilet. With time, make it more frequent. Slightly longer hours. Key rules: it has to be something you enjoy doing (even if you only think you enjoy it and when it comes to taking action, you’re all sorts of lazy and tired), it has to contribute towards your long-term vision of your dream life, and you need to experiment to see what works best in your field. For example, if you create content, try various ways of doing it, rather than sticking to one only to find that it doesn’t work. That is it. It doesn’t have to be perfect.

I’d suggest starting with x minutes a day, x days a week if you’re coming from a place of “not doing at all because no time”. It’s best if you link it with another activity that you engage in every day, such as after having breakfast or brushing teeth. If you fail to take action for a number of days, weeks etc. – it’s fine. Get back up, try again. You only need to keep in mind that you have your whole entire life ahead of you and if you want it to be whatever you want it to be, you gotta act asap. Nothing else will bring you the results you’re longing for.

Many people don’t know where to start, what to do, where to go – I mean, first of all, coaches exist for this very reason. If you’re sceptical about coaching, you can try a session with me for free. I am a self-love coach and discipline falls under this umbrella and lands right at the core of it. Coaching helps because it can keep you accountable, if nothing else.

In order not to turn into a sales pitch, which it isn’t, you are just a google search away from a whole load of instruments that can help you understand where to start. One of the most basic yet still incredibly powerful tools is a wheel of life. You can play with it in any way you wish. You can start with any area of your life, the one which is most accessible to you right now for whatever reasons. Start by outlining the next step – what does it look like? I know some people and certainly been one of those people for whom a simple trip to a grocery store is an achievement – and it’s absolutely fine. Don’t start with a big ambitious next step if all you need to do to make yourself feel better is do the groceries and cook yourself a dinner.

Tiny achievements every day. As tiny as you want but the big idea is that they have to make you feel better about yourself. Something very small that can make you feel proud. With time, you will develop a habit of making yourself feel proud. The steps will evolve with you. You only need to see the one in front of you, and walk it.

I give you a hug, I take off your veil as I’ve taken off mine, Life is more than what we experience in our heads – and I believe in you, in me, in us.

Sincerely yours,
Self-Love Academy

For coaching, please email lucy@selfloveacademy.co.uk